Soul Savior

"Every soul needs a savior"

Does those words seem familiar to you?

Iya, bener banget. am using a different cliche quote all over my post. Hahahaha am sorry

I felt a bit lost for a few months back then. I was lonely, lost, scared, and exhausted with this mad mad world. I always feel like i can't go through all of these s**** on my own. I need someone to support me and be my soul savior to save me from this darkness and despair. 

aku butuh dimanja-manja....

Hahaha nggak deng. 

Yang lebih frustrating itu, nyari partner yang bener-bener bisa bikin nyaman dan baik itu susah banget?!?!?!?! Oh just forget about "my type" gue hanya butuh orang yang bisa bikin gue nyaman dan seru dan lucu dan pengertian dan baik dan nggak jaim dan aktif kayak gue?!?!?! tapi dia harus keren juga gayanya dan harus nurut sama gue dan kalo bisa sih mukanya harus ganteng

HAHAHAHA BANYAK MAUNYA pantesan aja pada males sama lo mar. 

Huf gue cuma bisa menghela nafas panjang. Hidup kok gini amat ya. Gue ga berharap banyak kok. Gue cuma berharap suatu hari nanti bakal ada cowok yang nyamperin gue pake kuda putih terus gue diajak ke pantai sambil liat sunset and then we live happily ever after. is that too much to ask for?? nggak kan???

HAHAHAHAAHA TAMBAH BANYAK MAUNYAAA

But thank God i finally found one!
I thought mine got hit buy a truck or fell off a cliff??
but I was wrong. He's standing right in front of me all along

IYA DIA KAKAK KELAS GUEEEEEE

mindfucked banget nggak sih woy

from the day i met him i knew it right away that he IS MY SOUL SAVIOR

and am so happy????? i finally met the right guy

I want to be with him forever because i love him that much and i don't want to lose him ever like i will keep him in my arms forever nobody else can have him

This guy right here is mine so you guys have to back off or I'm gonna punch you right in the face

he's awsum yet weird. We don't really have that much thing in common. but i guess thats what soulmates do. saling melengkapi, right?

life gets better

omg true af?!?!?!?!

"Mar lo kenapa lenyeh banget sih. Hidup tuh nggak terpaku sama quotes tumblr kali."

Iya iya maafin gue ya yang suka banget relating real life sama quote tumblr. I just can't help it, it's a weird habit of mine:-<

By the waaaay, balik lagi ke topik yang sesungguhnya sangat ingin gue bahas di post ini.

Life does get better

(for those who wait)

Gue udah pernah ngerasain a really heart-breaking experience yang bikin gue nggak nafsu makan untuk beberapa bulan, yang bikin gue nggak ada niat sama sekali buat belajar, yang bikin gue males keluar kamar, males sama semua yang ada di dunia ini, ah pokoknya yang bener-bener bikin gue pengen minggat aja dari darat dan hidup di laut dengan harapan bahwa King Triton bakal sudi mengadopsi gue jadi anaknya yang ke-8:'-<

But at some point gue akhirnya tersadar dari semua mimpi buruk ini. Mau gue nangis 8247567340 juta kali sampe stock tissue di rumah gue abis juga nggak akan merubah keadaan gue yang kayak gembel sekarang ini. Satu-satunya cara buat survive ya gue harus stay strong. Nggak bisa lenyeh-lenyeh kayak gini terus.

Iya di mulut sih gue ngomong kayak gitu.

Sok-sok kuat.

Sok-sok stay strong.

Padahal mah......

SULIT BANGET BOSZSZSZZSZSZS

Tapi gue terus berusaha buat nggak berlarut-larut dalam kesedihan. Sebenernya gue bingung yang bisa bikin gue bahagia itu ngapain. Karena sesungguhnya bahagia gue ya di dia. Dianya pergi ya kebahagiaan gue juga pergi.

Tsah

elah

berak

Ternyata gue salah besar! Setelah dipikir-pikir, kebahagiaan itu bisa didapatkan dengan segala macam cara. Gue baru sadar bahwa sebenernya gue makan nasi uduk aja udah bahagia banget. Ketemu sama temen-temen aja rasanya kayak di nirwana, bahagia tanpa batas. Ah pokoknya semua hal baik yang gue lakuin bisa bikin gue ngerasa jadi orang yang paling beruntung di dunia ini.

and somehow I realized that little things in life can bring so much joy 

Semakin lama gue semakin merasa bodoh karena sudah menyia-nyiakan hidup gue untuk terlarut dalam kesedihan. Padahal masih banyak hal yang lebih penting dan lebih menarik untuk dilakukan. Misalnya travelling, ketawa sama sahabat-sahabat gue sampe perut gue rasanya mau meledak, discovering new things, melakukan sesuatu yang bermanfaat, daaaan masih banyak lagi.

my favorite part dari quotes itu adalah

  "These moments of sadness are only here to show us 

how wonderful the good moments in life are."

 Kesedihan berkepanjangan yang gue alamin membuat gue semakin menghargai semua hal-hal baik yang terjadi dalam hidup gue and how wonderful those moments are:->

I DESERVE the right kind of happiness

"It's killing me. Swear I've never cried so much because I never knew love would hurt this fuckin bad. Worst pain that I ever had."

That quote pretty much sums up my whole life after the heartbreaking experience I had to go through. My condition was really bad back then. Crying was the only thing that can make me feel a bit better, so I always ended up crying my heart out every single night for the past 5 months. I cried for an asshole who doesn't even deserve a single drop of my tear. "Pathetic", that's the word that suited me well.

I was literally living in hell..

my whole life was a joke

I couldn't study well, all of my grades were bad. I didn't have any motivation to do anything, not even an intention to change.

"What do you mean? What kind of transformation did you want to do anyway?"

The life-changing transformation, obviously. The intention to get out of this pathetic phase of mine. The sad phase. The blue phase. All of the bad phase I've gone through

I wasn't the "nyelaw Marchi" like I used to be. I was really self-contained. I cried in front of my best friends for a hundred times until they were really fed-up of my tears. They asked me to find a better atmosphere, surround myself with good people, forget about that asshole and find a new guy.

I said I couldn't

I was too in love to let go

But when I reached the lowest point of my pathetic life, he dated another girl.
My friend told me that he already dated her for a month
I was really devastated
I didn't know what to do
I cried even harder
I was really sick of everything

I didn't have someone to talk to
I didn't know how am I gonna survive the pain
The worst kind of pain

But one day I realized that I really need to change.
I deserve to be happy

That's why I started to live differently
I did what I should've done a long time ago
I tried to forget about him, hanging out more with my friend and I met a new guy
strangely, it works really well.

I finally got the right kind of happiness

The pure one

and now I understand why Robin Williams said this

Sometimes we are too afraid to be alone
That we forced ourselves to be with someone who doesn't provide the happiness that we actually deserve.

so

WAKE UP PEOPLE! TOO MUCH LOVE WILL KILL YOU!

but the right portion of love can make your life brighter<3